It seems like a lot of people that are famous for other things would also like to be actors. Singers like Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, and Taylor Swift, athletes like Lebron James, Ronda Rousey, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and stand-up comics like Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer, and Chris Rock have all started acting in movies. The latest is stand-up comedian Bert “The Machine” Kreischer.
A lot of those people started acting by playing a role that was similar to who they really are. Lady Gaga played a singer, Lebron James basically played himself in a couple movies, Ronda Rousey was in action movies that had fight scenes. Bert Kirschner does the same thing in this movie.
“The Machine” is based on a story that Bert tells in his stand-up shows about his college trip to Russia in 1999. He partied with a bunch of Russian gangsters and ended up robbing everyone on a train to Moscow. It starts 23 years later when Bert (playing himself) has stopped doing stand-up comedy and is trying to reconnect with his wife and his two daughters. At his daughter’s birthday party, two unexpected guests arrive. The first is his estranged father Albert (Mark Hamill) who has never believed Bert’s Russia story and doesn’t approve of his stand-up comedy career. The second is Irina (Iva Babic) who kidnaps Bert and his father (just in case Bert needs some convincing) and brings them back to Russia to find a watch the Bert stole from her father on the train years before. She leaves one of her men behind which she says will kill his daughter if Bert and Albert don’t do what she wants. When they get to Russia, Bert slowly remembers what happened years before (younger Bert is played Jimmy Tatro) and tries to retrace his steps.
I was somewhat surprised by this movie’s storyline. There are a couple interesting twists and turns. When I predicted something would happen, the movie often went in a different direction. There were also a few very funny scenes, especially some scenes with Mark Hamill. It’s possibly the funniest movie I’ve even seen that Mark Hamill starred in.
However, there are also a few things I didn’t like about this movie. There’s a lot of gratuitous blood and violence. I thought a couple of the scenes were funny but majority of them weren’t. Also, I know that at least some of the cast that play Russians in the movie can really speak Russian (according to an online biography – Iva Babic was born in Croatia). However, almost every Russian person in this movie seems like a caricature of a Russian. Almost all of them have tattoos all over their body, they spend all night drinking vodka, and they all have the same thick Russian accent. Lastly, there are several jokes in the movie that I – and everyone else in the theater I was in (which only had about 20 people in it) – didn’t think were funny. There was a pause for laughter in a couple places, but no one laughed.
It’s possible that I would have enjoyed this movie more if I was a Bert Kreischer fan. I’ve seen a few jokes from his stand-up shows – including the story about his trip to Russia that is the basis for this movie – but I’ve never watched one of his comedy specials. I must admit that I’m interested in watching one of his comedy specials now that I’ve seen the movie.
Overall, if you’re a fan of Bert “The Machine” Kreischer I think you may enjoy this movie more than I did. If you’re not a fan, there are some very funny scenes in the movie – mostly thanks to Mark Hamill.
If I was a Bert “The Machine” Kreischer fan – I think I’d give it 7 or 8 out of 10.
I’m not a fan so I give it 6 out of 10.
LOS ANGELES FILM REVIEW 